Quite Morning Coffee

Meet you again, folks.

This sunday morning was like usual. The sun comes and immediately cook whole city as I prepare for my morning coffee. It's bloody hot indeed, but for coffee? I think that's unquestionable. This is Kupang guys, and you won't ask why people here were loving so much sip their coffee cup although the day was hot. In Bahasa, it calls: tiada hari tanpa kopi.

Little story about my works, all my friends at road database project went home at this early morning. So it wasn't surprise that I enjoy my morning ritual alone. No noises. Peace. But still, hot.

So, how about you? Is it hot there?

In Kupang (again)...

I've stayed here for just two nights but it feel like a thousand nights. The smell doesn't change at all. The sun's shining at approximately 37 degrees and still..lack of water. My friend told me that I would gonna be suffered in the office's inn 'cause of that matter. I thought he's joking or - as usually - tries to throw exessive humours (that hear it's not funny at all), but it does frighten me. 2 months without water for bathing and anything for what we're doing in the toilet? Must be a worst nightmare that I would dream about!

Kupang should be an unlucky city. Placed at Timor island, Nusa Tenggara Timur Province of Indonesia which has a semi-dry climate. Rain only drops just in December and January, but I believe that's just a fake theory, 'cause the fact is there's no real rain here. It only a litte amount of water falls down to earth on temporary way. It's crazy for Sundanese like me, or anyone who live in Java island which rain drops almost everyday during wet season.

But life must go on. Hope everything're gonna be okay.

See you.

Bad Day Waffles

I woke up at 2 am, did my unfinished work so I can email it just right at 6 am. Today I'm going to Kupang, the capital of Nusa Tenggara Timur province, Indonesia, while it have been left for about 2 months. First, it's surprising. Second, it may be just not good for my daily plan. Ok, I just have to change this and that, or whatever it's gonna be, but sure..I can't change the world (sorry Clapton..)

When I landed at Yahoo, wow..what a headline here. 'Bad Day' named one-hit wonder of the decade? Seriously? Actually I do love that song. Specially when you got your heart broke, something proceed were not like you planned, or might just stared up in the window and watched the cloud out there. Yea, every songs have their own moment, haven't they?

Back to 'Bad Day', who is the singer? Oya, Daniel Powter. He's Canadian and this single is just his first album?! Damn. How many artist we heard that can reach that achievement? In his first impression he can charming every single heart in this planet. He conquers US and Ireland on his first year. Furthermore, in the US, it was a massive smash hit, and became a most successful single of 2006 as Ranked by Billboard Magazine.

Let's see a part of its lyric...

Where is the moment we needed the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to gray
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on

The first and second are my favorite. Where's the moment I needed most? Tricky question. I'm a loner, and I guess the moment I needed most is when I'm completely alone. Being alone is not too bad, just need a little reconciliation between your brain and your heart. If it's not working, don't push too hard, get a cigarette and burn it down. Well, that's my style. I don't know how's yours.

I kick up the leaves and the magic is lost. I believe, the word magic here is refers to luck. How many times you lose your luck, when it right there in your bare hand and ready to be used? For me, it's a thousand times. Sometimes luck is easy to get, and easy go too, it depend on my own perspective. Of course, if I presume today is my lucky day, everything's going to be okay. All I must do is keep that idea in mind, do the best thing, and don't forget to pray (we do it everyday, don't we?)

Oks, my mail has sent, it means I must finish this post right now. Thanks for coming by, and good luck with your work, people!

Sucker for Irrelevancy

Now, something I need to point out. How bad to be a multitasking person? No, I'm not talking about the ability to juggle Facebooking a friend; scanning an email; texting on your cell phone and tweeting about your latest technology tip — all at the same time. What I try to tell you is: is that okay if someone take - for example - two responsibilities at a same time, although he couldn't determines which one is to be a priority?

I hate rush and I consider it as a nuisance. May be other loved to be seen as a busy man, but I don't. D'you know what I know about busy man? The people who love to brag about how they're wired differently from mere mortals and can accomplish several things at once. More sarcastic? They're suckers for irrelevancy.

Just not my thing..

Irrelevancy or not, we must realize if we found it hard to believe each other while we just sitting behind the desk. Everybody talk about action and action. That's why I hate watch television right now. It's too many jargons, allurements, euforias, and bullshits everywhere. I see more hates than loves there. Damn.

Back to the point, multitasking. Someone said that if you want to be a good multitasker, you need to be able to very quickly decide between what's important and what are you going to pay attention to. That's my bigget problem , man!

I believe that people can't multi task very well, and when people say they can, actually they deluding themselves. Because what? the brain is very good at deluding itself.

I'm not deluding myself, neither sucker for irrelevancy. So what's the matter?

Cloudy Sunday

This cloudy Sunday don't make me weak. In the morning, me with family were going to one of the greatest spot in this city, Manahan Park. Right 7.00 a.m, we took there, feeding our baby with mush and breakfast with sun soup (is it right to spell: sup matahari?). It's very crowded, we must walk inch by inch, touch each other, well..we have to be in patient exercise in the early morning. That's good :)

What d'you guys do in this Sunday?

Just Tired

I was tired for everything. For those unfinished problems, or difficult peoples, ohm..I was close to make my mind in a bad prejudice. It's not good. I need something fresh, not just attacked by ideas I conquered long ago. I hope not.

On my to do list, there are several things that I must erase it immediately. Might they just wasting my time, or sucking off my energy, I must don't give a care. Too much intens right now that force me into this puzzlement. May be I'm not a goal-oriented anymore, but everything should be done before New Year! Damn, it least than one month ahead.

By the way, to attribute my educational results in internal factors that I can control is likely my major motive. And believe I can be effective agents in reaching desired goals was another one. Also interested in mastering a topic, rather than just rote-learning to achieve good grades, make a peculiar step in my day by day life.

But is it important right now? While everything seem unclear and my mind like got bombed with sorrows? Hey, you still have this free oxygen, don't you? Yea, who said it's for sale for God sake. Sorry, I'm gonna be swept off feet here...

Ok, next question is, how do I get motivated? It may be different for us all, but we have all got one, haven't we?

pic source: here

Reasons

So Sally can wait, she knows it's too late as we're walking on by
Her soul slides away, but don't look back in anger
I heard you say

As Oasis blow off Don't Look Back in Anger on my earphone, I try to recollect my lost memories that influence what I've got today. Several photos, pieces of writings, nostalgic songs and glances of fine remembrances, freshly wrap around my head. Honestly, I hate to be a man who ever was, and the other way, sometimes I miss my youth time very much.

Teenage angst has paid off well
Now I'm bored and old

Cobain probably could read my mind. He sang about discomfort of being old, but still have a little youth enthusiasm which brought him to express it on brilliant way. Same with my life. However I do these days, those are a cumulative of what I did yesterday. A friend told me that I'm too mousy, I accept that, and inch by inch it'll become a psychological walfare for my life. The good news is, I'm not a fragile people. So I attempt to strenghten my other potential talent which could conceal it and blotting out those. Writing is also can be an aid. I guess that's my reason to write in this blog again. To heal the past...

Do you agree if someone say that 'writing is healing'?

pic source: here

Grateful for Luck

When I was in my lovely childhood, everything seem colorful. Everyday was a great time for exploring some challenges or just disseminate imaginations on every single moment. I've forget some, but still intend to one or two moment that I should call it 'a gigantic moment'. A funny thing is, I did not rightfully proud at all when my parents showed my elementary report book, damn..I was always got rank 1! Do I ever imagine for what I would gonna do to that excitement? I mean if I already have the awareness? Oh my,..swear I'll scream around neighborhood and tell people so they know that I was great,..as great as Gaban, or Sharivan (my childhood role model).

Now, I realize that my life was kinda like roller-coaster. Truly, I never expect to what I've got trough today, and I feel grateful. Somebody said that I was lucky, but I think: life is such a group of luck, isn't it? How good we read the sign effected to how long we could hold out throughout this life's irregularity. At least that's my point. D'you have one?

Take My Own Side

Remember when I had been obsessed with something. Actually I didn't know what the point is, otherwise I took a thousand ways to satisfied my will. Sometimes I no longer feel secure in who I am and start comparing myself with others, or no longer have time to maintain a good relationship with my families, friends and colleagues. All in all, I put my life off balance.

Now, the circumstance changes dramatically and gives me no option. I see a clearer path right now and don't want to waste it no more. In fact, I'm young, spirited and a bit genius (as my under-consciousness mind say). I have no problem with my health, instead still smoking a few, and hey is health more important than wealth? At least that is my argue to overcome my pessimist-side.

Some suggests to picture my mind as a blank canvas or a dark sky. I take that and hope my world would more colorful. Like Remy (Ed Harris) on Gone Baby Gone said: 'You must take a side!' . Yes, I take my own side right now.

Hiatus on Facebook

If you've read my previous post about facebook, you'll notice that I would become like those who addicted to the application. Not far of it, immediately but not take a long thoughts, you are true.

In the beginning, I threw up a lot of statuses and commented all friend's status. It's really fun to have a feedback and sink on this virtual communication. Swear to God, procrastination was a very best buddy at that moment. Don't ask for my work productivity, it's far far away from perfect. Moreover, never ever take a look at my desk, cause it's clean! No books, no job list or even small notes about 'to do' list. Yes, that's all my confessions...


Nah, in the middle of the adventure, it was a little bit boring. Spent hours just for being fetch up in front of monitor, type this and that, laugh and mad... This is not my real life, I want to believe (just like Mulder said to Scully on X-Files) that I was a real human being. Not through this way.

That's why I do need some breaks. Hiatus...
But blogging? Hey, I feel a new passion here. Reborn!

pic source: here

Express Weekend (2)

This is continuance post from the first one.

My trouble had not disappear yet, as the mission was going not too good. I faced with fact that at the moment was a holiday season. People go abroad for their families or take a refreshing vacation somewhere. They extremely need mass transportation as train, bus or anything move and took them to destination place. And you should know that train in Indonesia was a perfect mass transportation ever!

Two days after my arrival, I rush to station for tickets while I still praying for not ran out of it. But fate has been given. I can't believe for I was just heard from the girl behind the counter: 'Tiket habis pak, sampai 4 hari ke depan'. What?!

My head spinning around. How to make it real? I guess some options:
1. We took economic class train, and it means my daughter would really tortured there.
2. We go by bus. Sounds good, but it won't guarantee to have a nice and comfortable bus.
3. Wait till the ticket available, it means I miss my presentation at the office for 4 days.
4. Go by....what?!

And I don't know, that idea was just popped out. Travel! Yea, are there any Travel Agency in Cirebon? I'm not sure but I'll try to find one. By asking some people, most of them are merchantmen, I finally found the agency and you guess what? Fortunately there are still some quotas for us. That's it. The problem was solved, and here I am now...walking down in Solo again. I will miss Cirebon!

No Breakfast...

This is the fourth day for being a bachelor again. Last night I watched Valkyrie from video rental and I decided to not borrow more than one movie, unless I'll broke my own health and flunk alone like poor loser. Hey, I've slept late for 3 nights! Influenza is coming easier to my condition right now, I realize that as I believe luck come easier for an optimistic man (is that so?). Plus what I did in the afternoon was totally neglect all sentiment, I played futsal with workmates for one hour. Call me freak and I'll nod perfectly :)


And as I thought before, I woke up lately this morning. No breakfast on a table, dirty dishes and smell of coffee still breeze..

Oh, this gonna be a long long day ahead.

Alone for a Week?

I've never imagine to be a single parent. How could I take care a kid while I spin like blended avocado on my own life? No no, that was an extreme one. What I'm talking about is being alone when your family were not at home for some purposes. It mean you'll eat by your self, clean the house by yourself, wash clothes by yourself and of course you'll sleep alone... in Bahasa this situation is like famous song: makan makan sendiri, nyuci baju sendiri, tidur pun sendiri.. :)

My wife and kid went to Cirebon and as a plan they'll stay there for a week. This was not easy for a first time, but let see what can I do in this lonely week!

Have a Cold

It's very annoying to go through the day with mucous in my nose. I get headache when I looked down and my eyes sparkle like fireflies. I guess it start on Sunday when I brought my family went to Klaten to celebrate our daughter's first birthday. As I drove with motorcycle, my wife went by bus because she must handle our angel.

And it happen. The night after we arrive at home in Solo, my wife tattooed my back with balsam (commonly it said 'kerokan').

Till now, Tuesday, this cold still gripping my days.
Hope tomorrow will be okay.

How Facebook are You?

It has been a while when I registered on Facebook, and I hate to tell: this stuff was awesome! This exactly not like friendster, that I had sick of, nor other social network applications (except blogger if you think so), but in this past weeks Facebook had extracted me a lot..both in my off-line or on-line life.


I read this once: Social scientists have a name for this sort of incessant online contact. They call it “ambient awareness.” It is, they say, very much like being physically near someone and picking up on his mood through the little things he does — body language, sighs, stray comments — out of the corner of your eye.
Sorry I forget the source...

It's true due to my experience. I often spent a whole days just for checked my status, my friend's status and even someone's status who absolutely I don't know what he/she comes from anyway. I got crazy when my status had a lot of comments and fiuh..I feel like lost on outsoar. In a maximum stage, it will be have a direct impact to my feeling in that day. Although I don't have any idea to share with, but that blank plain label on 'what's on your mind' always tease me and seems like an old beggar who ask me to fill his hand.

I don't know when it will be over. With sick of checking status and unfulfilled hunger of existence, I think it needs no more time to say 'boring' to Facebook. Next month? Years? You guess one.

About Me and My Talent

Once I thought that wouldn't it be great if I had a 'magic boss' standing on my shoulder telling me straight what I am good at and what I shouldn't waste my time with.. Well, now I realize it's ridiculous as I know there's no magic boss around (actually I hate it *lol*).

It goes without saying though that-and seems everyone would too-I am more likely to enjoy my work and get the kind of success I want, more easily, if I just putting my natural talents to work. My problem then was that, like most spirited employee, I could actually do almost anything I turned my hand to. The problem was not in having few choices, it lay in having too many; what I lacked was a clear focus on expressing my own core talents. The moral of the intermezzo is clear but it does throw back the question: How do I find out what my talents are?

There are certain things that you can do or that you can learn to do that can make you extraordinarily valuable to yourself and to others. Your job is to identify your special area of uniqueness and then commit yourself to becoming very, very good in those areas. (Brian Tracy)

What a great quote! Write on your notes if you like, hurry! :D

And now I stunned when I remember a straight simple question, but I make this most important: What do you do easily and well that is difficult for other people? It's amazing to know that I could write a list in just a minutes! Because it's easy. This is some examples of my list:
- I can draw easily
- I love to read, can read very fast and take in information quickly that way
- I can play various of music instrument (guitar, bass and drums)
- I'm exiting while playing with children
- I have great visual sense of style and creativity
- I often addicted to make mistakes, cause it can open other possibilities
- I can write blog in English!

The interesting thing is that I don't regard any of those as special talents. I thought those are simple for everyone in this modern age. But then I've noticed that when I'm working in a team with people who can't draw, slow readers, creepy with children, not know how to play guitar, and wonder 'how could you write in English? How much did you pay a translator?', amazingly they become real talents.

Otherwise, when I meet people who can express themselves verbally, speak easily as they want to and act naturally in any condition, I am in awe because I have to work really hard at it.

Well, God does not play dice with the universe (Einstein). He took a special ability for each of us to complete each others, so we can make harmonize this world to a better world. I hope so.

pic source: here

Morning With Mercy

Oh, this morning like the saddest movie of the century but without roll of tissues. I woke up about to late and fortunately a cup of warm tea able to brought over my mind. My unconscious eyes looked at the window when the sky got darker and spattering raindrops to make this morning drizzly. It's wonderful time..


I walk lazily to backyard and just plunged in thought while cloud march each other from north to south. I've seen those before, but I can't remember clearly. It's like recurred melody that sang when we got impressed to something. This astonished feeling might pass just seconds away, but its effect transpire hour by hour. Amazing, that's only word I have.

Alhamdulillah, thank God for blessing this morning with his mercy.

pic source: here

Feeling Good!

Hey, it's a beautiful day, isn't it? I try to roll out this passionate feeling as I had done with my first band concert. D'you know the best part of it? I decide to think nothing. All of my brain cells commit to be like snail in a jar of sticky mucous. Ah, there is a job, but I may not call it job. Job is suck and you know, I think we must erase that word forever from that dusty dictionary. I choose to look at Jim Carey when he act disgusting in I, me and Irene, instead get drunk with emerics! So, where the hell this talk will end to? I suggest to make bold point in this word: JOB, yaks!


I remember when I took my first job as an internet operator on a small rental. It's two shift job and I take night shift from Monday till Friday and day shift on the rest. Let me convince you, it was a boring boring job. Being stuck for 9 hours and always (I hate it much!) see that grim face of my colleague. She was a cleaner than a co-worker. She wrecked down everything I did good and got angry like God Hera lose her fave g-string! I swear to God to not meet her again, but when I knew the rental was not exist anymore..suddenly I miss her. I miss her cause there are two words I don't say yet right in her face..'you suck'.

Am I feeling good already? A little for sure. Actually, I still looking for someone who I want to give my two words to. Ah, that's good to liberate evils from this head..

Now, I'm ready for next task.

pic source: here

More Sensitive

After I posted this, suddenly it makes me more sensitive. For remembered what other had suggested, I've changed the way of organize my works to this single step: consciousness. This is a hardest part to apply because I rarely connected my soul to what I see in reality. Sometime it works, but so many distractions banished all the good times. Such as writing, it would be a major point for me.

Whatever it looks like, job is a job, something which could makes us visible by others. A simple job can not be compared with an important job that we can't enjoy it. I'd like to share my experience about how to tolerate with 'cover-judgment'. I was once a band player. I played drum with my first band that called 'biscuit'. It's a grunge band. We have played for almost all of the Nirvana's songs. Every time we showed off, noisiness and kind of spasmodic sounds tailed after, and always make a quite opening stage to become a chaotic one. We naturally enjoy those moments just because we did not give a care to what other said about our music or how we played. For me it's a wonderful time. I've not presume to be an idol just because I'm not a leader, I'm just a skinny drummer who stuck in a big cold drums. But slowly it makes me understand that a little job can harmonized a complete task. Yea, a great music is no longer great if there is no great drummer. Haha, at least that's what I'm thinking. I acted like a most important man on the band and played as good as I can. Honestly, I thought that biscuit was the best grunge band ever!


More messiness means more success: that's our slogan at that moment. And the result is really nuts! We've become more popular and people started to play music just like we did, make a stage's style like we did, and even wear a costume just what we did (not all of it if you think so, not for underwear!). For almost two years we did it, we've sailed through a massive alteration in this city and no one would expect that our music was no longer heard. And all of it started with this feeling: bored. Since that, we played with no excitement, passion or significant motivation which brought this band to meet its dead...

Bore makes our consciousness sneak off. We will try hardly to search other options which more passionate and use them to kill its feeling. As long as we can not fight to reduce the vacillations, we would still fetched up.

I hope I don't meet that feeling.

Your opinion?

Monthly Review: Still a Dilemma

As a religious person, I must confess here that I'm not a good yet and also often neglect God's commandment. I know it's wrong but instead I become a better one, I constantly disregard them and here I am, still alive with hunger of something. Bla bla bla..

Err, do you know what I mean? Sorry for my English. Assume this is a note from stranger who calls himself 'nerdy one' and amazingly you try to analyze what he tries to offer. Yes, there will be miscommunication among us, but human remains human. We could chiding each other and stopped till we caught by blind alley, or try to tolerate (this is my favorite part) and attempt to smoothen all obstacles. And if you still feel sick, that’s OK, just close this window. I don’t want to muffle your precious time, and you won’t do it to me too, right? All I know is that blogging lighten my effort to learn English, because there so many sources to ask for (including you) and so many interesting people who have different culture, way of life, sight and perspective. I enjoy blogging very much, but on the other side I don’t want to agitate your enjoyment while surfing. Yes, this is still a dilemma for me.

I have blogging for almost a month, and the conclusion for this post is: do I strong enough to continue blogging for next month?

Time will answer.

pic source: here