Just Tired

I was tired for everything. For those unfinished problems, or difficult peoples, ohm..I was close to make my mind in a bad prejudice. It's not good. I need something fresh, not just attacked by ideas I conquered long ago. I hope not.

On my to do list, there are several things that I must erase it immediately. Might they just wasting my time, or sucking off my energy, I must don't give a care. Too much intens right now that force me into this puzzlement. May be I'm not a goal-oriented anymore, but everything should be done before New Year! Damn, it least than one month ahead.

By the way, to attribute my educational results in internal factors that I can control is likely my major motive. And believe I can be effective agents in reaching desired goals was another one. Also interested in mastering a topic, rather than just rote-learning to achieve good grades, make a peculiar step in my day by day life.

But is it important right now? While everything seem unclear and my mind like got bombed with sorrows? Hey, you still have this free oxygen, don't you? Yea, who said it's for sale for God sake. Sorry, I'm gonna be swept off feet here...

Ok, next question is, how do I get motivated? It may be different for us all, but we have all got one, haven't we?

pic source: here

Start Up a New Toy

I've working on physical model test for one month and I found many things are new here. On the first order, our attention is about to overcome the rate of sedimentation into the Wonogiri reservoir. One of the actions is building a sabo dam or check dam on the certain river which might have reasonable contributes to supply sediments into the reservoir.

According to inception research, upperstream of Keduang river has a suitable place for sabo dam. And hydraulic test are required for clarifying the appropriateness of its hydraulic design with main objectives are: to study hydraulic performance, to obtain flow parameters, to study the problem encountered and to confirm the effectiveness of the design of the sabo dam.

One of the items of observation is carried out local scouring on the downstream riverbed of the sabo dam and also on the new bridge foundation. Here's my task, to simulate the sediment transport beyond sabo dam, therefore the model can be applied on the real world.

ANSWERS is the software to simulate the behavior of watersheds having agriculture as
their primary land use, during and immediately following a rainfall event. A distributed parameter watershed model incorporates the influences of the spatially variable, controlling parameters, e.g. topography, soils, land use, etc., in a manner internal to its computational algorithms. Those factors influence sediment transport on the watershed. I think that's a phylosophy of ANSWERS.

Can't wait to share what happen next.

Reasons

So Sally can wait, she knows it's too late as we're walking on by
Her soul slides away, but don't look back in anger
I heard you say

As Oasis blow off Don't Look Back in Anger on my earphone, I try to recollect my lost memories that influence what I've got today. Several photos, pieces of writings, nostalgic songs and glances of fine remembrances, freshly wrap around my head. Honestly, I hate to be a man who ever was, and the other way, sometimes I miss my youth time very much.

Teenage angst has paid off well
Now I'm bored and old

Cobain probably could read my mind. He sang about discomfort of being old, but still have a little youth enthusiasm which brought him to express it on brilliant way. Same with my life. However I do these days, those are a cumulative of what I did yesterday. A friend told me that I'm too mousy, I accept that, and inch by inch it'll become a psychological walfare for my life. The good news is, I'm not a fragile people. So I attempt to strenghten my other potential talent which could conceal it and blotting out those. Writing is also can be an aid. I guess that's my reason to write in this blog again. To heal the past...

Do you agree if someone say that 'writing is healing'?

pic source: here

When Quite is Better Than Crowded

I really enjoyed while bustling with friends and make ambience lively. Sometimes being together is so much fun. Many things would come out, such are new gossips, news (good and mostly bad..), ideas or just cracking jokes and jested each other. In fact, I think it's good for our health, in cases where somebody get hurt and lonely, it will increasing the production of dangerous hormones that have a direct impact to mental condition. If ever someone told us about the badness of being crowded, we'll think the same thought: that's not a leg to stand on.

But it's true due to my own argument, or anybody else who made a similar opinion, but sometime it's not usually, relative to up and down motion of our life. Stresses and pressure have not been so intense nowadays. Life's such not enough to be plotted on 24 hours. There's no distinct boundaries among countries. And so many miracles on these years than hundred years on ancient time. This wrought out massive confusion, and if we were lucky, might we living at desolate spot in the noisiness of the world.

It's undeniable if we as a human needs comfortable matters. That's why we strongly must have a religion. Umm, I don't wanna write about it, I just want to share this isue: why mostly religion require quite and solitude atmosphere on its activity? It should have a fervent reason, shouldn't it? For me, it's simple. It's about the way to communicate to The Almighty Creator, to hear my own underconsciousness-voice, to pray my hopes, and to simmered down my will.

What's the point? I think we need more quiteness for our spiritual live, so we can learn for 'what should do and what shouldn't do' in our life.

pic source: here

Grateful for Luck

When I was in my lovely childhood, everything seem colorful. Everyday was a great time for exploring some challenges or just disseminate imaginations on every single moment. I've forget some, but still intend to one or two moment that I should call it 'a gigantic moment'. A funny thing is, I did not rightfully proud at all when my parents showed my elementary report book, damn..I was always got rank 1! Do I ever imagine for what I would gonna do to that excitement? I mean if I already have the awareness? Oh my,..swear I'll scream around neighborhood and tell people so they know that I was great,..as great as Gaban, or Sharivan (my childhood role model).

Now, I realize that my life was kinda like roller-coaster. Truly, I never expect to what I've got trough today, and I feel grateful. Somebody said that I was lucky, but I think: life is such a group of luck, isn't it? How good we read the sign effected to how long we could hold out throughout this life's irregularity. At least that's my point. D'you have one?